When people would ask "Do you have any feelings about whether it will be a boy or girl?" I would generally try to answer something like "My feelings are pretty much staying in the middle." or "We'll be happy however it turns out!"
But now the truth comes out. I was imagining a girl most of the time.
I mean, can you blame me? I am a girl. I think girls are fantastic. I know about girls, and I have definite opinions on how to raise girls. My sister has two little girls. Girls are pretty and fun and have pretty hair and you can dress them in pretty things and make their rooms pretty. What's not to look forward to?
So when the ultrasound showed a boy in my tummy, I must admit, it threw me for a loop. A boy? What do you do with a boy? How do you raise a boy? What do boys like, and what will this one turn out like? A boy seems like so much more responsibility; I mean, now you're raising a leader, a protector, someone who will someday have great responsibility, whether it's over his family, or over a much bigger sphere. He will deal with temptations I am unfamiliar with. He will have needs and preferences that I am unfamiliar with. He will think differently from me. And then some day, the little booger will go off and marry some woman and leave me in the dust! ; )
But I think it's sinking in. We get to parent a little boy. We get to raise him, love him, take him fishing and buy him boyish things like cars and guns and balls. And we'll lean on the Lord, just as we would with a girl, and watch him grow into a godly man, and when the time comes, not just let him go, but hopefully shoot him out into the world as "an arrow from a fully bent bow."
Plus, I just went back and looked at some of JM's baby/kid pictures. And who can resist the thought of having one of THESE little guys???
We've had a week at home, and will be on the road again come Wednesday morning. Hi ho, a gypsy life!
Must admit, my nesting heart wants to settle into being home and spend my evenings crocheting baby blankets while my husband works or reads on the couch next to me. And that's not just a pregnant thing. I'm mostly a homebody, if I'm allowed to be. I generally gravitate toward comfort and coziness, and life on the road is anything but comfortable.
But when I'm out there, and I'm seeing people encounter God in new ways, I feel like I'm right where I need to be. I feel like I'm being faithful with what He's given me; like I'm using my few days here on earth wisely. I'm being pushed out of my comfort zone. I'm practicing moving things with prayer, hearing from the Lord, prophesying over people, laying hands on them and seeing God impact their hearts. Taking what I know and what I've been given, and sharing it. It's work, but it's effective. And it's worth it.
So I will enjoy my peaceful evenings at home. And then I will go and thank the Lord for the opportunity to minister to and encourage the people He holds so dear.
Well, I'm hungry, so this will be the end of this post. Much to do in preparation for this next trip, which will be a whopping 3 weeks long. Fortunately most of it is in Texas. Yes, that is fortunate indeed. :)
-H
